Damn, that's HOT!

So I understand that Eastern Canada is now actually getting some real winter after a green Christmas slid into an unusually warm January. Well, we've been having some unusual weather here as well. Every Queenslander I've met has remarked on how cool the summer has been so far, with highs of only 25 or 26 around Christmas (real hardship, eh?). This is actually a good thing, as it's supposed to be insanely hot, so cooler temperatures are actually welcome.

But who cares about the weather? It's the same whining you've heard a million times: it's always either too hot or too cold. What is exceptional, however, is the UV radiation. Today the UV index was 13, which really wasn't that bad. Note that these numbers are on the same scale as that used in Canada. However, back in Ottawa, people are warned to put on sunscreen and avoid going outside when the UV index is "very high" at 8. Hah! That's nothng: here the sun gives us an 8 at dawn, then proceeds to climb into the "extreme" range (anything over 11) before one gets to work. The UV alert for extreme radiation for today ran from 7:40 AM to 4:00 PM. As the sun sets at 6:30, that's effectively the whole day. It's so intense that you actually feel the light on your skin. And I don't mean "Gee, the sun is nice and warm." It actually feels like it's biting into your shoulders. Most days the index is 15, and futher north on the Sunshine Coast I've seen readings of 16! That's twice the level of UV as one would experience on a hot summer day in Canada (if the index is linear; I can't fathom what it would mean if the scale was logarithmic).

Any sort of physical activity must be done very early in the day. I've seen retired folks on the tennis courts at 6AM because by 8 it's just way too hot for any sport. So I wear a big hat and sunscreen.

Dingo

Dingo, originally uploaded by metajeff.

One of the dingoes that run wild on Fraser Island.

4x4 in the jungle

On January 9th, 10th, and 11th, I did a camping & 4x4 tour of Fraser Island with my brother Paul and his wife Jacqui. This is the largest sand island in the world (all the forests rest upon sand and the mountains are simply made of sand). It's the jewel of Australia's National Park system, and a World Heritage Site. There are only a couple of tiny villages there (including "Happy Valley", which has streets of...you guessed it: deep sand), and not much else.

4x4 in the jungle, originally uploaded by metajeff.

Here I am at the wheel of our trusty Toyota T100 in the middle of the island. Notice the sand. I still have some in my shorts. The roads were all deeply rutted...sand. It was a blast to bounce through great big holes, grinding through the deep stuff in 2nd gear. It was so rough that we broke a few eggs and a bottle of beer that were in our eskie (that australian for "cooler"). Now that's bumpy. It was so much fun that my brother now wants to trade his sensible grey econobox in for a jeep.

A highly recommended part of the world.

Cricket anyone?

I went to see a cricket match on January 5th at Brisbane’s big stadium “The Woolongabba” (an aboriginal word meaning “Really, really boring”). It was a new-fangled kind of cricket called “Twenty-20”. You see, there are two traditional kinds of cricket: the 5-day long “Test” variety that nearly brought the national economy to a standstill in December, and the 1-day long version that is considered by purists to be a little watered-down for their liking.

In any case, the owners of this nice, big, round stadium were at a loss as to what to do with it during the 4 years between Test matches: if even the short games take all day, the stadium can only really be used on weekends (the rest of the time people have to work, right?). So last year, the cricket-stadium-owners across Oz invented Twenty-20 as a super-condensed version of cricket that could be played in a few hours. This is played in the evening, drawing the office crowd that is downtown anyways.

The game has been livened-up with the addition of a half-dozen cheerleaders, and cash prizes for a few fans who participate in the half-time ball-throwing game. I must admit that despite being a brand-new league, the event had an exciting buzz to it. The crowd worked itself into a frenzy (regardless of which team was doing what), doing the “Mexican Wave” and bouncing beach-balls around.

Cricket, originally uploaded by metajeff.

There’s so much plucky spirit in everything that happens on the field that one can only smile at the minor-league feel of it all: It’s cute that the dance team isn’t coordinated, and the fans forgiven for needing many, many, many dozens of balls to hit the cash target, as a childhood of soccer has left them throwing-impaired.

As far as I can tell, the principal of the game is much like baseball: fly balls caught by the outfielders mean the batter is out, and ground balls allow the batter to rack up runs (sometimes without having to actually run). However, the whole hitting of the ball is surrounded by an incredibly bizarre set of rules. Depending on whether the ball hits the bat, or the torso of the batter, or the front leg of the batter (“Leg Before Wicket”), or the left leg of the batter, or misses the batter completely, something different happens. It all looks exactly the same and seems fairly random. Sometimes the ball hits the wicket that the batter is standing directly in front of, and the pins go flying. Then I cheered wildly.

Another highlight was when one of the bowlers ran up to the pitch, arms flailing (as they’re supposed to), and slipped and fell on his butt. It was hilarious, and I had a great time.

Liquor Land

I've been here 4 weeks now, and I'm very impressed with the responsible approach to alcohol in Australia. The legal blood-alcohol limit for driving is a mere .05, and they're serious about enforcing it (for comparison; in Canada it's .08). That means that drinking just one pint of beer (or "schooner" as it's called here in upside-down land) will prevent most people from driving for an hour or so. Australians get around this inconvenience by ensuring that a 5-minute walk in any direction will lead to a bar or liquor store (often side-by-side). The ground is literally thick with them. I've driven through many a small, hot, drought-parched town and not seen a single church or even a town hall, but you can bet that there's a "bottle shop" smack dab in the centre of town. They're even open on New Year's Day.

And the names! Here's a photo of one of my favourite chains: the "Liquor Smart" company. Heck, you'd feel dumb if you didn't drink.

bottle shop, originally uploaded by J.C. Lam.

Last night I stayed at the "Sleepy Lagoon Hotel Motel" in the morgue-like seaside town of Tin Can Bay. The bottle shop that was built into the side of this small motel was part of the "LiquorWise" chain. Isn't that an oxymoron? Is it really wise to drink one's face off? Or do they mean that one will become wise by guzzling their beer?

To test this hypothesis, I drank half a bottle of Jameson's Irish Whiskey and sure enough, found myself to be an expert on many subjects, regaling the shoeless old fishermen at the bar with a cornucopia of little-know facts until it was 9 PM and time for bed. Sleepy Lagoon indeed.

Trail bike 1

Trail bike 1, originally uploaded by metajeff.

Trail riding in Australia's Great Sandy National Park. (January 3, 2007). An amazing experience: beautiful roads through (succesively) pine forest, eucalyptus forest, rain forest, jungle, then beach. Riding a new, powerful Suzuki DRZ-400 at breathtaking speeds around trees, fish-tailing through deep sand - and not falling over! Can't wait to do it again.

Tangential plug

While you're online, why not check out the travel blog of "Kinester Nepinster" at: http://kineinindia.blogspot.com/ . Great photos.

Warnie-land: part 2

A word of advice for Shane Warne . . ., originally uploaded by Shakespearesmonkey.

It's spreading! the whole world is consumed with Warnie-mania. Here's a statue of Sir Shane (okay, he hasn't been knighted yet, but I'm sure it's just around the corner) in London. The statue's pose is famous (at lease to Australians) because it's been burned into my brain by a zillion replays of his "spectacular", "magical", "wondrous", (etc, etc.) 700th wibble-blidget (see my last post for a translation).

NOTE: I actually stood where that truck is: some of you might remember the photo I took of the scooters lined up under a statue of King George the V on a horse. That statue is just to the right of the photo.

Warnie-land: part 1

Australia is a great country: The climate is comfortable, the beaches spectacular, and the suburban trains are carpeted (think about that last one for a minute: how long would a carpet last in any US city, supposing, of course, that the city had commuter rail in the first place).

But there are some things about Australia that require ridiculing. Right now. As a case in point, I give you the world's greatest cricket bowler: Shane Warne (pictured). What's that you say? "Never heard of him" you say? Having been in the land of Oz for 3 weeks now, I was under the impression that only retarded cave-dwelling pygmies had not heard of the most incredible cricket player in the universe.

Warne to KP, cropped, originally uploaded by hismethod.

To say that he is the subject of intense media attention is an understatement. The piercing green eyes of "Warnie" appear on magazine covers and in hour-long TV-special retrospectives, and the sports section of the newspapers (which in Queensland is to say almost the entire newspaper except for the weather page and the comics) have been fawning over the magnificent way he can throw a ball into the ground. There are special collector's edition Warnie memorabilia available at outrageous prices. Replica cricket bats, and so on.

This is all because this pudgy blonde bowler has reached the magical threshold of 700 wibble-blidgets (or somethings; who cares, it's cricket), many of them against the Poms (that's aussie-speak for "Limeys", which is itself a perfectly good slang word, but apparently not good enough for Australians, who invent silly words just to prove how upside-down they are).

Thankfully he's retiring. But I suppose that means he'll be on TV for the next 3 decades hawking luxury cars or watches. You've been Warned.

Ho Ho Ho! (Belated)

Ho Ho Ho!, originally uploaded by metajeff.

The Aussies really know how to get into the Christmas spirit. Here I am in downtown Brisbane (with bicycle) in front of a large festive Christmas tree. Note the distinct lack of snow. They do the whole Christmas-accessorizing thing here too (blinking 'icicle' lights on the evestroughs, illuminated Canadian-Tire type reindeer on the front lawn, etc.), but it looks pretty silly with palm trees in the background. I even saw folks walking along the promenade at Caloundra beach wearing red Santa hats...and swimwear.

This is an Ex-Cane Toad

Cane Toad, originally uploaded by metajeff.

Perhaps you have heard of the nefarious cane toad, introduced into Australia (from South America) in the 1930s? It has become one of the major pests in the land of Oz because it has no natural predators here. This is because it is highly poisonous: all animals that eat it die.

You might not know that this frog's poison is also highly psychoactive. Long-haired hippy freaks have been known to lick these toads in order to get an LSD-like high. One can also roll and smoke the dried skin of a road-killed cane toad for added effect.

This particular specimen met its squishy end under the business end of a shovel. No plans to smoke it.

Tambour National Park

Tambour National Park, originally uploaded by metajeff.

January 1, 2007: A little hike along a path in the Tambour National Park, Queensland, Australia. Looks impressive, but I was passed by small children and their grandmothers, all wearing flip-flops (called "thongs" in Australia-speak).

This is part of the "Great Dividing Range" that runs parallel to the coast about 100kms inland. These steep mountains separate the dry, arid coast from the dry, arid interior. The towns in these mountains are beautiful, with cooler temperatures and fantastic views of Surfer's Paradise.